Nicholas Calen, Void Engineer

Research   

[Las Vegas, May 31]

Allright. Enough sulking, time to get to work. I've got the 'trap' logs set up, and I'm definitely going to go along with Avalon for now, even if it's just to play out the appropriate length of rope.

But I'm not going in unprepared. Start a search of the database. Every entry referencing Avalon, cross-referenced against group, organization, corruption, mission. Hm. Eidolon. Hwang. Traditions. Nephandi. Dorien Sterling. That should take it awhile.

While I've got these passkeys, what else should I...ah. NWO...weapons dev...I want the schematics for this 'disruptor' weapon. Should give Oz and I something to talk about.

Workout Redux   

[Las Vegas, May 31]

Ow. I think my jaw is broken.

Oz apparently was less than pleased at the beating I handed out to Mr. McGyver. It was his idea in the first place, dammit! I guess he figured I needed a little taste of my own medicine, though. He just swept the floor with my ass. Ow. I think my ass is broken, too.

Thank the Void for Union medkits, that's all I've got to say. Got the swelling around my eyes down enough that I can actually see. The jaw's gonna take another couple of days, though.

The worst part is, he's right. I shouldn't have taken it out on Mac, and I should have kept ahold of my temper. Unfortunately, Oz wasn't in the mood to accept a simple 'Yeah, I know I fucked up'.

Ow.

Weaponsmith   

[Las Vegas, June 1]

Had a few words with Oz about the disruptor.

I'm sitting here, looking at myself in the mirror and wondering what possessed me to share some of the most classified data I've ever come across with a Deviant. A Deviant who could more than likely build the damn thing...or else find a way to reverse, or at least defend, against the process. The Union's most advanced weapon, and I just handed it over to one of the Deviants' best weaponsmiths.

What was I thinking?

Departure Prep   

[Las Vegas, June 2]

Well, my requisition list was pretty much approved as requested. Several power packs and medkits, PNDA - French tabs, new data interface installed, Primium shades - these rock!, the satellite uplink will be waiting in France, and the Needler. Dr. Hwang also provided an updated model of the Protocol Beeper. Handy.

Turned me down on the Plasma Caster though. I can sort of understand why, they do have a tendency to glitch when used in non-vacuum. Just takes a tiny bit of dust in the plasma coil, and ka-boom. Couple of smaller weapon choices available, though.

As for the group, the Dreamspeaker and Zydeco bowed out, but Oz, Johnny, myself, Mac, Kyle, Mark, and Arden are all on board with Dr. Hwang. Apparently, an associate of Mr. Ortega's will be meeting us in France, one Derrick Dryden. Have to call up our files on him. An Akshic who's worked with the Union since the Doisstep attack, interesting.

Ortega did have soome news to share, if you can call his drugged hallucinations news.
-The sphinx has a champion that may aid us. Obviously he means Johnny.
-Dorien Sterling is a 'wheel-breaker', seeking to disrupt the Paradigm and re-create it. Ortega says that on the whole, this can be good, but not from someone with 'malice in their heart'. Whatever. I fail to see circumstances where this could be good.
-The 'spirits' say everyone is vital to the mission. Right.
-The library contains information we may not be ready for. Certain unpleasant truths.

The Flight   

[Las Vegas, June 3]

We took a limo to the airport and got most everything loaded onto the plane when Dr. Hwang, Dr. Jin-Yong Hwang, that is, Director of R&D at A51, showed up to see his daughter off. Apparently he was confused by her abrupt change in plans, and she fobbed him off with some story about Sterling being in France and disrupting activities there. My name came up. Apparently my journals, at least, those up to my 'termination' have been cleared and dumped into the public database, and the obligatory condolences and 'he was such a nice boy' comments have started going up. Seems Dr. Hwang made a mention on the list, I need to check that out.

The flight was fairly uneventful, though. I slept pretty much the whole way, but I know Oz was fiddling around with the design ideas for that disruptor. Dunno about the rest of them, but I hope they caught up on their sleep. I expect they'll need it.

And what is up with Arden's voice?

Obituaries   

[Las Vegas, June 3]

Wonder how Mom and Dad are handling the news of my death. She's pitching a fit, and he's working 35 hours a day, probably. Such a perfect opprtunity to use the Tom Sawyer line, too, but that should probably wait.

Heh, yeah, my sphinx journal entry was the last one they had. Mom's pissed, as I thought. Wonder what this 'Plan' is? There's Dr. Hwang's, that was kind of her. Oh, wow, even my drill sergeant had a good word to say. Never would have known.

Shit...Richard Cooper...Mac's brother? Didn't know he was an engineer. Bit of a suck-up. Could be trouble, though, if he does put together an observation team.

Of course, Dad got right to the heart of the matter. Trust him to jump on the significant details. Just hope he can be distracted from the whole observation idea - if he gets obsessed with this it'll be real trouble.

Paris   

[Paris, June 4]

We landed in Paris, where Dr. Hwang left us to go make good on her promise to her father about checking up on Sterling's activities.

We did meet up with Mr. Ortega's delegate, however, Derrick Dryden. Quite a character, but definitely not what I would expect from an Akashic. Very...unfocused. Wild, even. Not at all what I pictured. Also surprised to learn that he has worked for the Union on several occasions.

A quick scan of the travel guides and a correlation with the Syndicate db to make sure we weren't walking into a mistake led us to the Parc Hotel. A nice, independent place. I set up some reservations, pairing folks up into doubles. Arden and Dr. Hwang, had to put the ladies together. Mac and Kyle, Oz and Derrick, Mark and Johnny. Leaving me a room to myself. There are advantages to being the one making the call, after all.

Once we dropped the luggage off, Derrick decided that we all needed a burger and a beer. After all, in Paris, where would a bunch of Americans go but a burger place?

It was an interesting dinner conversation, though. Mac got pretty smashed, and mentioned that his father, the PrGN, had put an inhibitor and a tracking device up his nose, which apparently I knocked loose during our little tangle. He also revealed that on the day of his enlightenment (who knew these Deviants did so when they were so old? Really, 25? Great Void, my enlightenment came at 13) his father attempted to capture him. Alan's wife, Maori was killed in the process, though the Adepts were able to get the wounded Alan away. Took up the name "Mac" after that to hide from his father.

What puzzles me most about that tracking device is how sloppy the installation must have been if a few punches knocked it loose. Not at all in keeping with the other things Mac's father did. Wonder if that was a seperate operation? Another faction keeping an eye on Mac, maybe? Have to research that.

Mark's story was fairly straightforward - kicked out by his parents when they found out he was homosexual. Why would they care? With modern medicine, it's not like the genetic material goes to waste. Easy enough to tube a kid, and what other reason is there for only having sex between a man and a woman? Anyhow, he made his way to Vegas and worked his way up into a nightclub owner, following what he calls the One's Song. Whatever that means.

Mr. Dryden is an 'extreme sport' fanatic. Surfing, snowboarding, hunting nephandi with our agents - whatever seems dangerous and exciting to him I guess. Former marine, too. I find myself almost liking him. Good attitude, for a deviant.

Arden, the witch of the big hair, had a child with a Syndicate member, agents of which came to reclaim that daughter, but who now has been returned and sent back to New Orleans. She apparently came from a gypsy tribe. She was left by one lover, killed the other and his mistress, the head of a coven of verbena, and became enlightened in the process. Sounds like a soap opera.

Kyle - well, we didn't learn anything much about the little whore, he was off at another table macking on a couple of ladies the whole night.

Johnny was just a damn lucky musician. Mark and Arden apparently helped shepherd his career along. Kind of surprisingly, he has a degree in architecture.

As for Oz, the big man started his enlightenment under the influence of certian Union members, though I don't think he's aware of that. Something went odd in the process though, and Zydeco brought him into the traditions instead. Need to find out more about this.

Derrick asked about me, so simply told him that I was a marine, specialized in heavy artillery. After they all consumed vast amounts of beer, though I stuck with water, we made our way back to the hotel. Interesting night, I've got a great deal to think about.

Paris Note   

[Paris, June 4]

One thing I forgot in my last entry. While we were all having storytime in the bar, the routines I had scanning local Union traffic picked up a flag. Some agent had made Johnny and pulled together a capture team. Luckily, he apparently wanted to make a name for himself and didn't call in any heavy guns.

Before I could say anything...would I have said anything? I honestly don't know...the team was wiped out. By a traffic accident. Specifically, getting t-boned by a bus.

The Meyers luck continues to hold, I guess.

Next morning   

[Paris, June 5]

I stayed up late, thinking on what I'd learned about the others, and woke up early this morning with a few ideas. You can never have too much information, after all, so I kicked off some data searches.

First off, I need to keep track of my father's activities and make sure he's not getting too close to the truth yet. Set up a few sentinel programs to monitor his and Richard Cooper's efforts.

Made a few improvements to the alert software that's keeping an eye on the local Union message traffic. I want to know if any of our little amalgam are spotted, so it'll beep me if our names come up.

Pull up Arden's, and Ivy's records. Let's see what they had planned for that little girl. I wonder if they had induced enlightenment yet, or if they had her on the eidolon suppressant tablets? And see what happened to this Cade, Ivy's father.

See if we have anything on Mr. Davins. Sounds like his parents could use some re-education. Or some eductation to begin with.

Derrick is allright, for a deviant. Just want to see what we've got on him, out of curiosity.

And, of course, Mac. There's something that doesn't sync up with all of this. His father is an expert in his field - methodical, intelligent, and thorough. Neither the implanting of those devices nor that botched capture operation seems his style. I need to look up the records of those incidents. I'd bet Mac a pitcher of beer that Richard, not his father, was behind both of them. We shall see.

Well, that should keep the computer busy for a bit. Time for a nice run. Nothing too strenuous, 10 k ought to do it. Should be back before the hangover patrol even rolls out of bed.

Something to Watch For   

[Paris, June 5]

A package was waiting for me at the hotel desk, the concierge handed it to me on the way back in from my run. Some scan imagery from Dr. Hwang. Seems she's worried that she may be intercepted and exposed, and wanted to make sure I, and Mac, had an appropriate bio-signature to match her against.

Apparently, the nanites she uses give her a distinct readout, and each of us who took advantage of the language tablets will have that signature as well. Since a clone attempting to infiltrate wouldn't have these nanites, a scan for them should be a reliable indicator that none of us have been compromised.

Loaded everyone's profile into the shades - have I mentioned how much I like this Primium structure? - will start checking each time I see them.

Enough   

[Paris, June 5]

Allright, so I was sitting in the cafe at the hotel, minding my own business. I'd already read Le Monde, and was working on the NY Times and sipping an espresso. Gotta say one thing for the French, they know how to run a restaurant. Oz had come in a few minutes earlier, and was over at his own table, talking quietly on the phone, probably to Zydeco. Anyhow, McGyever swaggers in, much earlier than I'd expected, given his drinking habits. I looked over at him and scanned him, just to get a baseline reading for the replacement detection routines I'm writing.

What do I see but all sorts of new hardware installed, all hooked up and blazing with life. Some sort of neural co-processor, and all kinds of incredible, bleeding edge implants. Talk about embracing your heritage, even if it does seem out of character for him. I guess I must have said something, about his father being proud of him, I think, because he turned to look at me. I gave him a little nod and went back to my paper.

Next thing I know, my shades were frying my sideburns off! I whipped them off and ran a diagnostic - completely fried, and there's the fucking adept with a smug look on his face. I could have shot him, but I have some degree of respect for Dr. Hwang, and she must have some reason for wanting this jackass along. Plus I hardly wanted to draw attention by whipping out some unlicensed tech, given my own precarious status, so I just left and came back to my room. Never mind that Oz probably would have shot me if I'd pulled a weapon on the pigfucker.

Great Newton, what a sanctimonious asshole! Once again, I'm just trying to do my job, help out, even if none of them understand where I'm coming from. And what does he do? Smokes my shades. AGAIN! That's four fucking pair I've lost to these collective assholes. This was a good pair too - Primium structure. He must have tapped thier input feeds somehow and sent a feedback loop through them.

Dammit, these are completely irreplacable. If I can't fix them, I'm back to using the substandard ones, which Arden will no doubt break at every opprtunity.

Well, screw them and their attitude. I've tried to work with them, Void knows I have, but if they aren't willing to work with me, then Dr. Hwang will just have to find someone else to act as liason.

But what now? Go to the Union? Back to Control? Let them know what's going on? Or stay hidden, leading a mundane life? Or...I could follow the route they've already accused me of...Rogue.

Sulking   

[Paris, June 5]

Allright, so I know it. I'm sulking. Between this damn thing babbling in my head all day and all night, getting louder every day, and the constant hassle of trying to be civil to these deviants while they try and corrupt me, I've had enough. But, it seems I'm not to escape it yet.

Tried to walk away. Shut everything down and left it behind, pulled out some cash from the accounts, and fled. At least I can admit it to myself. I was running away, because I couldn't handle it anymore.

Isn't that a treat. Big bad marine, and I can't handle a week of this kind of pressure. Give me something to shoot at, for the love of science! I can handle that. Track down ravenous wolf-beasts, fine. Face off against Nephandi on the moons of Jupiter, great. Actually be polite and work with half a dozen deviants? I'm a wreck after a day.

Allright, I admit it was stupid to try and leave. I know this mission is important. But...what if it's my presence that's endangering the mission? My father is investigating the circumstances of my disappearance, and looking for the Deviants last associated with my activities. If I were spotted elsewhere, like London, it would throw dad's trackers off their scent, and they would face less interference.

Of course, Mac had to come after me and give me another sob story about how they 'needed' me. Sure, that's why they do everything they can to drive me away. Void knows they do want looking after, though. Wasn't a one that was sober enough last night to handle themselves if a situation came up.

Mac caused so much of a disturbance that the conductor called over two of the security guards to escort us out. Not wanting to cause a scene, I started heading out, but something stopped him. I had none of my gear with me - not used to being so blind - but Mac noticed the guards had Union equipment. We took off, and Mac jammed their transmissions, but I knew they'd split up. I drew one after
me and told Mac to find the other. If they'd reported us back, the whole team would be screwed.

The agent stepped into the room and quickly sidled to the side to avoid being backlit, but I was already moving. He got two shots off before I snapped his neck and took the gun away from him. With that damn voice nattering in the back of my head, I'd completely forgotten his optics - he'd seen me on thermo, which would rather explain why I had a bullet in my left kidney.

I knew I had to get after Mac, though. He might be bright, but he was in no condition to handle a fistfight with an NWO agent. I managed to hold my insides in long enough to get outside and put the silencer on the other agent's pistol.

Unsurprisingly, the second agent had indeed gotten the drop on Mac. Although I had a few fleeting moments of amusement thinking about letting Mac be taken, I knew I couldn't risk the exposure.

Just then, a schoolgroup or something burstout of the station, the kids all shouting and yelling. The noise completely covered the 'pop' of the silenced pistol, and the other agent toppled to the ground.

Just in time, it turned out. I collapsed about then, trying to stop the blood flow from my side. Mac stopped to make sure the agent was dead - real tough to do given that he was standing in the Agent's brain - then about passed out himself from the sight of my blood. I'd sort of figured he'd be glad to see it.

Things got a bit fuzzy at this point...I must have told Mac about the Medkit back at the hotel, and I could have sworn he just up and disappeared. I guess I passed out, because suddenly he was standing over me again, with the kit. He ripped into it and managed to figure out how to apply the nanite solution and bandages, and gave me an injection for the blood loss. Just about in the nick of time, I think, but I started feeling a little better almost instantly.

We managed to steal a car...a Fiat, of all things...we're pulling out into traffic and Mac decided that that would be a good time to give me back the monitor and communicator he'd been carrying. That would've been useful before.

Checked the monitor to be sure noone had noticed the missing agents yet; luckily they hadn't. The scanner in their car had noted anomolous deviant activity, but local agents were too preoccupied to investigate us at the time.

We made it back to the hotel. All I could really think about was how hungry I was getting, but I realized Mac was still talking to me. Something about how I'd saved his life. Don't know why he seemed so put out by it, I was protecting both our interests, and he'd probably saved my life in turn by fetching the medkit.

I'd say we're even.

Caught   

[Paris, June 5]

Well, we made it back to the hotel, slightly worse for the wear, and back up to my room where I ordered breakfast from room service. Mac hung out long enough to make sure I was going to live, and then left.

Not 30 seconds later I heard Dr. Hwang's voice echoing down the hall: 'What the hell do you think you were doing!?'.

I groaned and tried to lock the door, but Hwang stormed in and pointed at a couple of chairs where Mac and I quietly sat down. After getting some ass chewing, something about reckless and foolhardy, I think, she told us to pack up before storming back out into the hallway.

Mac hurried off looking a little sheepish, and I just started to pack. Still irritated at all of them, and now that fucking voice is back, sniggering at me.

Dammit, if I could just get rid of ONE of the irritations, maybe I could concentrate...wait a second. Dr. Hwang won't give me the suppressive tablets, but with a Union presence in the city...aha. And using the access codes she so thoughtfully provided, arrange a quick drop of, oh, say a month's supply. For an 'undercover agent'. Nowhere too close to the hotel, there's a dropspot over by the river. Shouldn't take long for them to place it, it is a fairly simple order.

Not going to be able to sneak out again with Hwang watching me, but if I set up the GPS to target that location, get a scan...yep, there it is. Efficient as always. Targeted...locked on...a little quantum inversion pulse and...*pop*. Got 'em.

Perfect. Goodbye, voice. Maybe we'll speak again after all this is over.

Hasty Departure   

[Paris, June 5]

I grabbed breakfast, again, while waiting for everyone to finish packing. I got some curious looks from everyone - they all wanted to know where we'd been, and I'm afraid I was favoring my side I bit more than I intended. But they held their questions until we were all gathered. Well, except for Davins, who was still out at his monastery gathering information.

We trundled out of the hotel and into a shuttle. Folks were obviously dying to ask, and it was Derrick who broke first, wanting to know what happened. Hwang gave them the short version, and pretty much everyone gave me a dirty look. As though it were all my fault.

Arden did offer to help with the wound, and I think I might have offended her with my hasty refusal. Oh, well. Oz also mentioned his friend, but I shook that off as well.

The tablets were beginning to have the desired effect, though, thank the void, and the voice was quieter than it had been in a week. Still not completely subdued, but it'll take awhile for my system to build up the proper levels. I took an extra dose, just to be sure, though.

We made it to the airport, and got through security - everyone but Meyer. Seemed there was something wrong with his records. They didn't exist. I swore under my breath - standard NWO tactic, erase all of someone records to make it hard for them to operate in modern society. Arden managed to...ah...stall the guard while Hwang and Mac, with a little prodding, worked to get a faked record into the system. Nothing too elaborate, just enough to get him through.

It worked, and we hurried off towards our plane.

It was Derrick who spotted them first. I was too preoccupied in trying to keep up with them and wasn't paying attention to my link. Five agents, three to one side, two to the other closing in.

Well, Derrick may have spotted them, but at least I got off the first shot. With Dr. Hwang's super pistol. Which turned out to be, while effective, a very bad idea. Damn thing blew me back about ten feet and into the path of half a dozen more agents running up behind us. Blew up the luggage cart some of the agents were using as cover as well as putting one down permanently, though.

Everyone else conducted themselves well enough, and most of the Agents were dispatched without too much bother. I managed to snag a new (slightly used) pair of shades off of one of the fallen and finally got a proper look around.

None of them were enlightened, luckily. That would have complicated things.
Kyle decided to start smashing the remaining shades, but I snagged one backup set at least.

We loaded up and took off, though Derrick seemed disappointed at leaving some of them alive. I noticed I'd reopened the wound in my side and sat down to tend to it when Hwang gave me a shot of something and knocked me out.

When I woke up, we were in Monaco. Damn her.

Dreams   

[Paris, Monaco, June 5]

I had the dream again while I was knocked out on the flight. I look up, as though waking, and Maria is standing there, watching me sleep. The first time, just after I learned she was dead, it threw me out of sleep into waking and I very nearly broke down.

It was then I knew I had to put her out of my mind, and my memory. I couldn't afford to let such a distraction take root.

The next night, she came again, and as much as I wanted to deny her, I couldn't. She just sat there, and smiled again...mocking me, and mocking my pain.

It got easier the next couple of nights. I knew Maria was dead, though whatever this apparition was tried to deny it. The outsider that's impersonating her is trying to make me feel bad, but I'm not buying the pout routine. Just adds to my conviction that it can't possibly be her, since she would never behave like that.

This last time, on the plane, it came, but did not disturb my slumber. And last night, I did not dream at all.

Unfortunately, she returned during my cat nap this afternoon. The voice, feeble though it was, tried to tell me how it was doing me a favor, allowing her to return. Right.

Allright, now I know something strange is up. The Dimensional Scanner is recording some sort of incursion every time this thing appears. The signature isn't something I recognize, but it's at least making the effort to have an Agent's resonance. Well, I won't be fooled. I know it's not Maria, because I know she's dead, and there's no such thing as ghosts.

One Night in Monaco   

[Monaco, June 5]

After arriving in Monaco, we went to a safe house that Derrick knew about. An Akashic dojo. Words cannot express how thrilled I was at this.

After some digging around, Mac managed to come up with an address for one of our contacts, but for some reason Hwang didn't want to go find this Ksirafi keeper immediately. She wanted to send Mac, Kyle, and Derrick in the morning.

Our little meeting broke up, and everyone trotted off to bed. I gave everyone a couple hours to get to sleep, then set the clothes to caturglar, slipped on some gloves, and made my way down to the courtyard. Was about to slip out the gate when I heard someone else coming, so I ducked into one of the shadows to wait.

Can't say I was surprised to see Johnny looking about furtively as he made his way towards the gate. Didn't take a whole lot of logic to work out where he was going, and while I may not like him, I had to admit that his luck might be handy to have along.

I stepped out and nodded to him, startled him a bit, but we agreed that neither of us thought that waiting until morning was a good idea.

So, we borrowed a car from the parking lot and headed towards Cassada's house. Parked a couple blocks over once we saw he wasn't home, then walked back over and scouted out the house. Thought about just waiting for him to come home, but wasn't sure if he'd be willing to talk to a couple of strangers who just happened to be hanging out in front of his house in the middle of the night.

Disabling the security system was a snap - cut the phone line and jammed the shortwave backup with by cobbling together a little HF generator from Johnny's cellphone and the car radio. Used a ladder we found in the gardener's shed to get into the attic window, where I disabled the alarm siren, just in case.

Looked around the attic, lots of religious art pieces, usual furniture assortment, and one standard secret room, sliding door variety. Managed to pop it open fairly easily, seemed to mostly be personal files - mortgage, tax, car papers and the like, but there was a small wooden box with a rose carved into the lid.

Opening up the box, we found some sort of puzzle contraption inside. Johnny recognized it as a message container that was designed to destroy the message if tampered with. He said there was usually some sort of clue as to how to open it, though, so I examined the box again and found a sheet of parchment tucked behind the rose engraving in the lid.

The message box had five wheels, each with the letters of the alphabet on it. The parchment had a riddle, in latin, written on it that translated to 'This is the breath of life and the harbinger of mysterious death.' After some brainstorming we came to the conclusion that the answer was 'a kiss'. I thought it was kind of a bullshit answer, but it worked.

Inside the box was yet another of the damned message tubes, with another riddle. Something about holy knowledge, I dunno, but it was fairly obvious it was referring to the Hagia Sofia, and Sofia was the key to opening it.

After all that, all we got was a piece of parchment with 'I' on it. Nothing else, just "I". We were both kind of disappointed, but decided we'd better hang on to it anyhow.

We were thinking we should probably bail at this point when my scanners detected someone coming towards the house. Not Cassada, though, another visitor. Started to go back out the window, but the newcomer started heading around to the back, so we pulled the ladder in and quietly shut the window, just in time.

This guy was dressed in priest's robes, a cassock almost, with a red cross on a field of white emblazoned on the front and back. Some sort of templar, maybe. I thought they were all wiped out. Looked annoyed about not being able to get into the house, so he settled into the bushes to wait. Johnny and I headed downstairs to take a quick look around before getting out of there, but before we saw much, Cassada came home.

The two of us ducked into a coat closet just inside the front door. Figured we'd be able to slip out from there, or help Cassada out if it turned out the templar meant him harm, as it certainly seemed.

Unfortunately, things didn't quite work out like that. Cassada came in, and the templar stormed in behind him. As I was getting ready to move they turned over a bookcase against the door of our closet and jammed us in.

Cassada ran down the hall and into his study, where he slammed some sort of panic room gate across the doorway. The templar looked even more irritated, and told Cassada that he could either provide the location to go with his associate's information or the templar would kill him.

Cassada gave in and told the templar to look under the rose window in the Cathedral of St. Michel, at which point the templar shot him anyway, and walked out. Luckily for us, though I wonder how much Johnny had to do with it, the templar was so pissed that he kicked at the bookcase holding us in, shifting its leverage a bit.

We were finally able to shove our way out, so we chased after the templar and I dialup up the police to file an anonymous report, knowing they'd bring an ambulance. Didn't occur to me at the time that they wouldn't be able to get through the panic room door any more than we would, I figured they'd have some sort of override.

The templar made it to his car and was driving off by the time we caught up to him, but Johnny staggered into the road like he was drunk, and I managed to
flick a tracker onto the bumper as I helped Johnny back up to the sidewalk.

After all of this, we figured we'd better get back to the Monastery before we were missed, so we jogged back to our car and packed it in.

We returned the car almost as good as it was when we found it. I tried to get the radio back to what it had been, but screw it, noone listens to AM anyway.

Tablets   

[Monaco, June 6]

Thank the void for these tablets. I know this...thing...is part of me, and I'm going to have to come to terms with it at some point, and maybe I'll be willing to experiment later, but just now it's too much.

The voice still speaks up from time to time, but it seems quieted somewhat, at least. Even with the double dose they're not as effective as they used to be. I may have to try and find a way to purge the nanites Hwang put in me.

Damn, I know she'd be pissed if she knew I was back on the drug, but for all her noble intentions, she can come down a lot like Control when it comes to deciding how her operatives are to live their lives.

Unless maybe she'd rather I wasn't at peak form. Wouldn't that be convenient, get some use out of me until the distractions get me killed, no messy cleanup since I'm already 'dead'. Well, while my revenge is still set to drop if that should happen, I'd rather survive this whole mess.

Best if she doesn't find out then. I don't really want to have this argument.

One Morning in Monaco   

[Monaco, June 6]

After a few hours of sleep, I rolled out of bed and headed downstairs. I wanted to catch the others before they left and let them know what to expect. They might have a chance to do more snooping since we had to leave in a bit of a hurry.

Of course, they'd all gotten up early. Of course, they'd already left. I knew this wasn't going to be pretty. Dr. Hwang was talking with Mark, Arden, and Oz when Johnny and I walked into the dining room. Hwang knew instantly that we'd been up to something, so we confessed about sneaking out to scout the house out the night before.

She was seriously pissed at first, but we told her what we'd found with the puzzle box thing and the odd piece of paper, what had happened to Cassada, and how I'd put a tracker on the Templar's car. We hooked up the scanner and saw that it was at a Cathedral just outside of the city.

Mark was exhausted, so he went to grab a nap while Oz and Arden planned to check out this cathedral. Oz called Mac, but too late, they'd already found the mess.

We put some nonsense riddle in the middle of the puzzle boxes, in case they were stolen. Johnny was holding on to the original piece of parchment from inside while I held on to the puzzles.

On unrelated note, message traffic on the Cop is at a fever pitch. This obviously has something to do with the Plan, but it's all in normalspeak code. Hideously effective at hiding what's going on in plain sight. Need to find a chance to talk to Hwang alone.

The Dojo   

[Monaco, June 6]

Went down to the practice area of the Dojo after breakfast and watched them working out for awhile. Started doing some training katas of my own when one of the younger Akashics came over and offered to spar.

Now see, I knew at the time that this could be a bad idea. I'm no slouch, but I'm well aware that my expertise is in blowing things up frm a distance with a BFG. But, I know I'm not going to improve if I never fight anyone better than I am. And I'm not that bad, after all. Plus, this girl was hot!

We sparred for a bit, testing each other's speed and prowess, then got down to it. It was a real workout. Unlike sparring with Mac, where I had to try not to kill him, or Oz, who was stepping it down to the point where he was just training me, the two of us were very close in skill. I tried a few new moves, some of which worked, and some of which didn't.

Worked up a good sweat over two matches, and she just barely edged me on points. I would have been annoyed, but she agreed to have lunch with me afterwards.

Should have seen the looks on everyone's faces when we strolled into the dining room together.

Access Codes   

[Monaco, June 6]

Decided to make some use out of my access codes and get some things done, in addition to all the research I've been doing. Got lots of info back, gonna take awhile to sort through it all.

The Plan. Richard Cooper is out of the loop, but thinks he knows what's going on. I'm out of the loop, and while I thought I knew what was going on, I obviously don't. I'm betting Hwang is not fully up to speed, either. Everyone who's not on the Cop seems to be confused, so I'm betting only the core DSEATC members know what's really up.

Used the friends of Courage network to send a message to mom. Still can't be too obvious but I think it gets the point across:

Mrs. Calen,
Do not despair for the troublemaker. He may be in over his head this time, but he has help from an unexpected ally.
Agent J. Courage

Invictus - still very little to go on. it's as though they don't exist. Or Hwang and the Avalon folks are making them up.

Turns out Mac's brother was behind the assault that killed Maori. He was trying to bring a talented agent with great potential into the VE. Would have been quite the feather in his cap. Unfortunately his patrons were able to hush up the blunder. May have to do something about that...

Speaking of punishments, let's have the Progenitors call Mark's parents in for genetic sampling. Should be nice and painful. Assholes.

Syndicate is pushing Iteration X technology. It's being used to unify computer systems and replace VE hardware. They want to use the AI on A.C. to monitor the entire Union it sounds like. Doesn't make a whole lot of sense until you realize that Special Projects is exempt from the new accounting rules that make you justify the expense of VE hardware over ItX. Never mind that we have agents dying on the front lines and in the Void as Outsider activity is increasing exponentially and our agents don't have the equipment they need to deal with it.

Maria's death - ordered by Control as object lesson to her mother. Turns out that Ms. Louise was a spy within the VE for Control, and was promised the usual enticements - money, power, authority...and a suitable matchup with the scion of a prominent family. Me. She started balking at giving out some of the info so Control decided to teach everyone involved a lesson.

Turns out my own termination was ordered before I even encountered these deviants, though. Not sure by whom, yet, still looking for that information. The whole Club tickets thing was a set up. They were gearing up for an attack on Johnny and wanted to make sure I was among the casualties as well. So, in a way, Mark and Arden were right. Those 27 deaths were at least partially my fault. Just not in the way they thought.

Arden's first husband is dead. Broke down his conditioning, and wanted to know where his wife was, and not the one the Union had set him up with. Eventually went on a rampage and killed several other operatives before being brought down himself. Need to tell Arden that Cade's last thoughts were of her. And it would be the truth, he was screaming 'Where's my wife?' when they blew his head off.

Warn everyone that Oz, Johnny, Derrick were ID'd at airport, and the survivng agents may have records that ID the rest of us. Will try and interfere with the investigation as much as possible by editing reports, scrambling recordings, etc.

Enter some records into the PrGN database stating that 5 clones of me were produced for various purposes. Three for NWO for unknown reasons and two for Q division as sample marines for field testing new equipment.

Suckerpunch   

[Monaco, June 6]

Walk into the dining room from the sparring match, talking with Sophia, and I barely had time to register that the others were back before Derrick landed a couple of punches.

My hand was on the gun before I knew what I was doing, and the voice was screaming at me to just shoot the fucker. For a change I found myself in agreement with it, but the practice of making sure I never do anything it wants me to do has served me well in the past. With a few deep breaths, and some heavy mental effort, I forced the demon back into its cage. Though I could tell it was going to cost me...I hate the idea, but I think I'd better up the dosage again. The tablets are starting to make me a little nauseous, but it's better than letting that thing out.

This is what I get for inviting another distraction, I guess. Paying attention to the girl and he got the drop on me. I vaguely remember him asking about the box that Johnny and I found and stumbling up to my room to get it.

Once more, I find myself causing nothing but dissension within the group. Never mind that we found some useful information. Never mind that we managed to get a tracker on Cassada's killer. It was all my idea, of course. Trying to hog the glory or something.

Never mind that Johnny was there with me. What's Mr. Akashic Fuckup's solution to that? "I'm gonna have to buy him a beer and talk to him about teamwork." I guess he only attacks people when they're not expecting it.

Right. Well, It's not like I expected to be accepted within the group, but it would be nice if they could at least refrain from attacking me. And for doing my job, nonetheless.

Never mind that noone else expressed any interest in going to see Cassada earlier. Never mind that Johnny and I had planned to give them the details of what we'd found before they left, except they'd all gotten up early and gone without having a fucking committee meeting to discuss changing the plan.

Well, fuck me for thinking that what they wanted was the maverick VE who'd gotten himself into this mess. What they, Hwang really, want is a good little soldier to follow orders. If there's anyone to be going around being reckless, after all, let it be the golden boy, Johnny, he who can do no wrong.

Well, I can follow orders. I may not like it, but I do want to find this library. From there, we'll see.

Most frightening I think, Arden, out of all of them, was the only one who looked like she understood.

Derrick offered to have one of the Akashics patch me up - I'd been standing there with blood running out of my face for awhile - but I passed. I thought I could make it back up to my room and the medkit. I was wrong. Turned to leave, and the next thing I knew I was waking up on the train to Vienna.

Seems that between the gunshot, and the sparring, and the unexpected broken nose and jaw, I was a bit worse off than I thought. I don't know who helped me - I have vague memories of Mark standing over me while Sophia looked kind of anxious - great, definitely leaving a wonderful impression. First she sees me getting the tar beaten out of me and then walks in to find me in the arms of a gay man. Nothing against Mark, of course, he's nice enough, just not my thing.

Suppose it's just as well. I need to empty my mind of distractions. With all they did to me, a good deal of the medication was wiped out of my system, and now the demon's back, louder than ever. And wearing Maria's face again, to taunt me about looking at another girl. Just what I needed.

Vienna   

[Vienna, June 7]

After the little discussion of what they'd found at Cassada's - a key we had missed when our search was interrupted by the arrival of a murderer, along with a few other details - Hwang decided we should depart for Vienna.

Seems Oz and Arden had a word with our Templar, and he revealed that he had already killed the other Ksirafai agent, Lobenstien. Hwang thought it would be best to investigate Lobenstein's home, seeing as how important info was missed at Cassada's.

At any rate, the train got us to Vienna without incident. We checked into the hotel. The ladies, Mark, Arden, and Hwang, took one suite. Derrick, Mac, and Johnny took another, leaving Kyle, Oz, and myself in the third. Except Kyle couldn't stand the thought of being in the same room with me, so went off and booked something seperate. Fine by me.

We proceeded on to Loebenstein's apartment where we found, as expected, another corpse. We retrieved what we assumed t be another puzzle/clue that he was wearing on a chain around his neck. A small vial containing several tiny pebbles printed with letters. Kind of like rice writing, only on stones.
Saw nothing else to give a clue our mystery, so we quickly returned to the hotel.

Mac got the pebbles lined up and was able to read the series of riddles written on them. After some brainstorming, we figured out that each of the 10 riddles were a landmark, with some specific task to be done there. Shake the hand of a statue, and so forth. As Johnny put it, a scavenger hunt.

We agreed that since most of the landmarks are tourist attractions, we should go when the places are open and try not to draw attention. The problem is that a couple of the attractions - the spire on top of the city hall, for example, is going to require some out of the ordinary methods. Would make sense for Derrick to attempt that, since he's got a media rep as a daredevil and so forth. Probably just be treated as a publicity stunt.

Still, we'll wait till morning. Suits me, I slept damn near all day, but dealing with the voice and trying to keep it in check is wearing me out. Hope the meds kick in soon.

Pep Talk   

[Vienna, June 7]

Hwang called me over after our little crypto-riddle session and wanted a word. I listened to what she had to say. She must think I'm an idiot. I'm well aware that I may be young by the standards of a mudballer, but I've been through a lot of shit in my years.

From what I've seen, as well, those of us who grow up on the Cop are expected to handle a great deal more responsibility much earlier than those planetside who get coddled for most of their early years. At least I'm finally starting to understand why they all think nothing of being arrogant, condescending jerks to me. Never mind that I've seen more actual combat than all of them, barring Oz and Derrick, put together.

Anyhow, Hwang just droned on and on about how my presence was vital to the mission, and I should try and work with the other members of the team. Yeah, well, maybe when they start working with me. It's not like I haven't fucking tried.

I've done everything I can for Mac to help him put his past to rest but chisel out a fucking tombstone. I've kept an eye on Union activity and made sure everyone was aware...shit. I just remembered, they made Oz, Derrick, and Johnny at the airport. I meant to tell them, why didn't I? Oh, yeah. I got punched in the jaw and it sort of jarred it out of my mind.

I suppose I should let them know. Derrick is going to be banking on his reputation as a daredevil to help him get to some high-profile places tomorrow during the 'scavenger hunt'. If I tell him the Union is already looking for him, he'll probably scrap that plan and we'll find some less obtrusive way to go about it. On the other hand, if he's spotted, and some Agents shoot him - there's a happy thought - dammit, the demon is agreeing with me again.

I know that means this is a bad idea, but somehow, I can't bring myself to care. They want me to shut up and soldier. Follow orders, answer when spoken to, Fine. Someone asks me if anyone was IDd, I'll tell them. Otherwise...

Sirens   

[Vienna, June 7]

I was sitting in our suite with Oz - he was watching rugby, I was sitting on the floor doing some concentration exercises to try and get the voice back under control.

Suddenly, my scanner started alarming at me. Oz looked up, but left me to analyze the readings. There were four agents, in the hotel and they were with Johnny and Mac. I was torn with indecision. Should I be reckless and brash, and gloryhound my way into doing something now? Or call a meeting so we could discuss possible actions in committee? I decided to just send Oz to deal with it. Let Derrick try and sucker punch him.

Told Oz to grab some guns since the Union was trying the Pussy Galore tactic on Johnny. Four hotties, pheremonely tuned to excite him and get him alone. Though only one was the real danger, I was sure, the others were just distractions for those, like Mac, who happened to be in the way.

The two lunkheads had brought the agents up to their room, so Oz headed across the hall to deal with it. I stayed behind and kept an eye on the scanner to make sure nothing else crept up on us. I felt like shit anyway, and didn't really want to move.

Good thing too, since one of the agents activated a transponder. I started to jam it, but the voice objected. Loudly. Worst of all, my hands turned away from the scanner, as if on their own. It was like I didn't have control. I started to freak out, but managed to force myself to activate the jamming.

And then I turned it back off. I don't know why, or even how, I just did. The voice was cackling madly, and I managed to get it back on, but after that, I just backed away from the scanner.

Opened the door into the hall, and saw Mac trying to deal with a couple of women, two of the agents. The third, I saw from the scan was inside the suite with Johnny and Oz. These two were trying to get inside as well when Oz pulled a gun on the one inside the other room. I likewise pulled a gun and held it on one of the two in the hall while Mac managed to come to his senses long enough to cover the third.

Oz escorted the principle agent out into the hallway, and she led the others away. I told Mac to short out the transponder if he could, but I suddenly just didn't care much and just came back in and sat down. Left the scanner running, just in case, but I didn't even bother to look and see if the agents left the hotel.

Even as I sit here composing this and trying to arrange my thoughts, I can't seem to bring myself to care. Intellectually, I know what a bad idea this is, but I just don't care.

What's happening to me?

Breakdown   

[Vienna, June 7]

Oz came in, found me sitting on the floor, looking dignified I'm sure. Got an image to maintain, but can barely think about it, now. The voice is screaming in my head again, trying to get me to kill Oz! Why would I do that? Granted he took the opportunity to suckerpunch me too, and he is a reality deviant, so maybe I should...stop it! Dammit, what's going on with me?

It's never been this much of a problem before! Oz wants to know what's wrong, of course, but how can I tell him that I'm losing control - not just my temper, but of my mind, even my hands.

Started to try and explain, and he tried to tell me that everyone who awakens goes through times that their 'avatar', as he calls it, speaks to them. I asked him if others' 'avatars' take on the faces of dead loved ones and talk about how great it would be if everyone died. Especially me, so it can be free, or something.

Or if their avatars work constantly trying to distract them, ruin experiments, cause accidents, or generally fuck up whatever I happen to be working on at the time.

Oz looked a little shocked at this and suggested I talk to Hwang about getting back on the meds. Glad he finally caught on, but since, as I told him, I'm already taking four times the recommended dose and it's not helping, getting Hwang's permission to do so probably wouldn't be any more successful.

He frowned, then leaned in close and touched my forehead, telling me not to resist as he did so.

I don't know what he saw in my head, but I've never seen him looking bothered or scared at all, he seems to take everything in stride, but he had an absolute look of horror on his face when he was done. Told me he now understood why I thought I was a danger to the mission, and wanted me to stay put while he went to get Hwang.

Great, another ass chewing, just what I need. Dammit, I shouldn't have said anything, I can get this under control. Just need to calm down, and focus. Hell, nothing else has worked, maybe I could drink it into submission. No, that'd be a bad idea. One drink, though, just to calm my nerves.

Hey, the minibar's got an entire bottle of single malt...that should help me relax. And maybe alittle nap while I wait[TIMEOUT WAITING ON ENTRY. UPLOADED TO SECURE STORAGE]

Post-Op   

[Vienna, June 8]

I'm still not entirely sure what happened last night. Woke up this morning in bed, in my room. And naked. Arden was sitting in a chair, dozing. That explains the naked bit, I guess. I know there was something I wanted to tell her, just don't remember what...

Checked to make sure I didn't have any fresh injuries - a small cut on my hand, but that seemed to be it. Vile taste in my mouth, like I'd been vomiting. Ugh. There was a carafe of water next to the bed, so I drank some and washed the taste out.

Was still tired, but I also had a sense of, I dunno, contentment? Peace? The voice was gone, but I could still hear echoes of it. And a lot of pain. What the hell happened to me?

Images keep coming to me...the scotch...a cell, chained to the wall...Maria...Void, Maria was in the cell with me, but how? We talked, I think, though I tried to hell her that she should just stay dead and leave me alone to rest.

She didn't like hearing that.

Oz came in at some point, Hwang was with him, and Arden. I think I may have shot at them, I remember the gun in my hand, being tackled, Arden cutting my hand and smearing blood on my forehead.

And Maria was there...shooting me with some kind of weapon. Somehow, the voice was, I dunno, driven out? And left me in pain like I've never felt before, even from the claws of that lupine. It pulsed, and tore at me, then suddenly disappaeared. Almost, but not quite, anyway. Even now, there's still something like a dull ache throughout my body.

I think I must have drifted back off to sleep, because I opened my eyes and Hwang was in the room, while Arden was gone. She told me I should just rest, and probably not take any of the tablets. She seemed very nervous. I really need to find out what happened.

Racked my brain, and all I can remember is dreaming about Maria, like she was with me through the night...comforting me, before disappearing again.

And somehow, I know it is her, now. I get the feeling I'll see her again, too.

Good Morning, Sunshine   

[Vienna, June 8]

Got up, and realized that whatever happened, I actually felt pretty good. Changed into some workout clothes and headed downstairs. Turns out the hotel has a nice jogging track around the building and a small pond out back. Did about 5k, just to loosen up, and went back in to clean up before breakfast.

Oz was in the room when I got back, and he gave me kind of a funny look before relaxing and nodding. I nodded back and just grabbed my shower kit.

Thought about it while showering, for the first time with a clear head it seems. I always knew that finding the library was a goal I wanted to achieve, but now I realize how much more I could have done along the way to help. I can't believe I was going to let Derrick go out and create a media stunt, knowing that the Union was watching for him. Not that I would object if something unfortunate were to happen to him, but I can't let my personal feelings interfere with this mission.

I'll let them know at breakfast; we'll just have to find another way to accomplish the tasks we've been given.

One other thing, I suppose. I've disabled the dead-man timer on my journal storage. Still no way to download them without physical access and my authorization codes, but they won't dump the info to the Union based on my going incommunicado now.

And I need to give a copy of that info to someone, just in case. I think Oz would be a good choice. Tell him to give the info to McGyver and Hwang if anything happens to me. Someone should see what I've been doing, and since I'm not filing formal after-action reports, thank Newton, this is the only source for that info.

Hadn't even really thought about that, but have to admit that if I only like one thing about working for Avalon on this sort of mission, it's not having to file reports on every damn thing I do.

Breakfast   

[Vienna, June 8]

Gave the info to Oz, though I didn't tell him what it was, just that he should give copies to Hwang and McGyver if anything happens to me. Went through the local paper, nothing terribly exciting, though.

Although I half wanted not to, I did warn Drayden against any publicity stunts, given that he, Oz, and Meyer had been made at the airport, and that Interpol was now searching for them.

Turns out Derrick and Kyle decided to go out and take a look at the locations for our little scavenger hunt last night. I don't seem to recall them running that idea past the group so we could offer suggestions, but I guess that rule only applies to me.

Several of the sites have guardians of some sort, generally outsiders. At this point I mentioned to Hwang that my scanner had gone missing and she told me that she had it, as hers was not working properly, and that she had ordered a replacement for me. I guess, as long as we have one of them along we'll be allright.

After reviewing the clues one last time, and with the scouts' information, we decided that the landmarks needed to be visited in order. Off to the temple of Theseus, then.

More questions, fewer answers   

[Vienna, June 8]

Well, suffice to say I've seen pretty much all of Vienna in one day. Some things were pretty right, others were very wrong. Belvedere Palace and the spiral gardens - right. The statue of Athena in the fountain stopping time around us - wrong.

I'm sure the others will go on at length about what a glorious quest we undertook, and what perilous danger we faced at every turn. In the end, though, we simply discovered that, once again, Hwang's information was fucked. Apparently things aren't quite so simple as she would have liked to believe.

Cassada didn't have the location while Loebenstein had the password. Rather, both had various clues to hopefully put it all together. Found the location and combination/key to a safe deposit box, some phrases, a couple items. Just feels like something's still missing.

A scrap of parchment with 'I'.
A matching scrap with 'X'.
The phrase 'Under this sign ye shall conquer'.
The word 'swavium'. Kiss, in latin.
The word 'fulmen'. Lightning bolt, also in latin.
Platinum coin - lightning bolts on one side, rose & dagger on the other.

Oh, one bright spot though. This hottie in the train station, Anna, wants me to call her. Probably shouldn't, though. Don't need the distraction right now. On the other hand, maybe a distraction is what I do need. Give the brain a chance to rest.